How Long Does Good Sex Last?
In a study, published some time ago, a sex therapist, Eric Corty said a normal sex ride lasts between 3 and 13 minutes. He stated that it is important for couples to understand that a good roll in the hay doesn’t need to last much longer than the time it takes to make a hard-boiled egg.
In concluding the research, the therapist conducted a surveys involving 50 members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research asking them to rate a range of time intervals for intra-vaginal ejaculatory latency (IELT). In English, that means the time elapsed from when the penis enters the vagina, until ejaculation. The therapists were asked to rate the time intervals on a scale of “too short,” “adequate,” “desirable” and “too long.” The response rate was 68 percent. It was important for the participants to be therapists who were professionals that also play a part in helping people find a solution to their sexual challenges.
When it comes to time and vaginal penetration and ejaculation, the average for ‘too short’ was rated as 1 to 2 minutes. ‘Adequate’ was 3 to 7 minutes. ‘Desirable’ was 7 to 13 minutes and ‘too long’ was 13 minutes to 30 minutes. The sex therapist concluded is that normal intercourse lasts from about 3 to 13 minutes.
Interestingly, there was no statistical difference in responses in terms of therapist’s gender. One would expect that perhaps there would be, but men and women responded the same way and the age of the respondent isn’t even a factor.
So, according to the therapists, it’s okay, to be a three-minute man, not a one-minute man?
Sex is a unique experience between couples. So believe it or not, one minute may be fine for some couples, but according to the survey, one minute is too short in the opinion of many therapists; three minutes is considered the low end of adequate, but adequate nonetheless. This may not be a world fact, but it’s clear that the ‘one-minute man’ can be frustrating for a woman. Bare vaginal penetration is the least reliable way to bring a woman to orgasm.
At the end of the day, our thoughts are clouded with images of men with hard erections who can go all night. As a society, we have such unrealistic expectations of sex and that unrealistic expectation translates to our bedrooms. Hopefully, knowing what therapists think are adequate and desirable amounts of time for the sex act will reinforce a more positive message to couples that think they are having problems because they don’t live up to an unrealistic ideal. This piece of information will give men the permission to feel okay if they can’t sustain an erection for 30 minutes; and women the permission to be realistic, too. It doesn’t give anyone permission to stop thinking about the needs of their partner and those needs can be met in a lot of different ways.